Every parent has had this moment.

Your child throws a tantrum over something that seems small. They refuse to participate in an activity everyone else enjoys. They cry, stomp their feet, pull their hair, or suddenly withdraw—and you’re left wondering: Why is this happening? What am I missing?

What if we told you that your child is not “misbehaving” at all?

What if they are simply trying to tell you something.

Behaviour is one of the most powerful forms of communication, especially for children. Long before children have the emotional awareness or language to say “I am overwhelmed,” “I am scared,” or “I need help,” their bodies speak for them. Facial expressions, crying, restlessness, refusal, even seemingly disruptive actions—these are all messages. In fact, there are many adults who still struggle to verbalise how they feel or what they need. For children, behaviour often becomes their first language.

Traditionally, difficult behaviour has been addressed through punishment. And while punishment may stop a behaviour in the moment, it rarely helps in the long run. It sends a one-sided message—don’t do this—without answering the more important question: then what should my child do instead? Punishment also doesn’t help us understand what is actually driving the behaviour. Over time, this often leads to new or more complex behaviours taking its place.

At Navriti, we take a different view. We believe that behind every behaviour is a reason—and when we understand the reason, we can support the child far more meaningfully. Instead of asking “How do we stop this behaviour?” we ask “What is this child trying to tell us?”

Most behaviours fall into four broad categories.

Sometimes, children act out simply to gain attention. Every child wants to feel seen, valued, and acknowledged. They crave positive attention, but if that’s not available, they will accept negative attention instead. A child who feels ignored may quickly learn that acting out guarantees a response—even if it’s not the response they hoped for.

At other times, behaviour is linked to sensory needs. Some children seek sensory input—they may constantly move, jump, climb, or touch everything around them because their bodies need that feedback to feel regulated. Others do the opposite. They may avoid loud rooms, bright lights, messy play, or certain textures because their sensory systems feel overwhelmed. To an adult, these reactions may seem confusing. To the child, they are attempts to feel safe and balanced.

There are also moments when behaviour is about gaining something tangible. A child who throws tantrums before mealtime may simply be hungry. A child who becomes irritable late in the day may be exhausted. At times, it could be about wanting a toy, a break, or comfort. The behaviour is the child’s way of saying, “I need something right now.”

And sometimes, behaviour is a way to avoid or escape a task. This often surprises adults. Activities that seem fun to us can feel intimidating to a child. A craft activity may require fine motor skills the child hasn’t developed yet. A group outing may feel frightening rather than exciting. When children don’t yet have the words to express fear or difficulty, behaviour becomes their exit strategy.

Once we begin to see behaviour through this lens, something shifts. We stop reacting—and start observing.

This is where simple tools like an ABC chart become powerful. ABC stands for Antecedent, Behaviour, and Consequence. What happened just before the behaviour? What exactly did the child do? And what happened immediately after? Tracking these patterns helps adults become detectives rather than disciplinarians. Over time, patterns emerge, and the child’s message becomes clearer.

Understanding behaviour also means responding differently.

Children need adults to model the words and actions they don’t yet have. Giving them phrases like “Help me,” “I can’t do this,” or “I need a break” gives their feelings a voice. Making small accommodations—movement breaks, sensory tools, flexible seating—can dramatically reduce distress. Reinforcing positive behaviour, and doing so immediately and specifically, helps children understand what does work. Ignoring certain minor behaviours while consistently acknowledging positive ones often leads to lasting change.

Most importantly, children need consistency between home and school. When parents and teachers share observations, strategies, and understanding, children feel safer. Expectations become clearer. And when children feel safe and understood, challenging behaviours naturally begin to reduce.

At Navriti, this approach is deeply woven into our learning spaces, our curriculum, and our daily interactions. From calm zones and sensory labs to movement-rich classrooms and mindful routines, we design environments that listen to children—even when they don’t use words. We don’t rush to fix behaviour. We pause to understand it.

Because when a child feels heard, supported, and respected, they don’t need to shout through their behaviour anymore.

They learn that their feelings matter. And that is where real learning begins.

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Written by Dr. Yukti Arora, Founder & Principal, The Navriti School